No more Kung Fu movies.

On behalf of fathers everywhere I am making a plea to Hollywood...no more kid movies about karate, kung fu, or any martial arts.

It seems every generation has it's karate movie that gets kids to pretend that they can control their "Fists of Fury" like some little Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. Enter the Dragon, Karate Kid, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, and this year's hit cartoon...Kung Fu Panda.

For the record, Kung Fu Panda was super funny and I loved the movie (I love anything with Jack Black in it), as did Maxim and his little brother. Naturally after the movie it was time to act out the fight scenes with dad as the bad guy...which is fine...when I am ready for it.

Tonight after baths the boys wanted to do a little Kung Fu action and since mom is in Minneapolis I entertained them by turning the living room into our own dojo.

The problem with my kids and their Kung Fu is that they don't pull their punches, or know when dad is expecting to be punched. We Kung Fu'ed for 15 minutes and I was kind of done...as I was getting off my knees, I got caught with a little "Fist of Fury" from Maxim. Let's just say if I was still on my knees he would have hit me in the chest, unfortunately for me I was standing up...and he hit me hard!

I went down in a pile, clinging to life, or what was left of it. As I was reeling with the pain that every man has felt, and trys with all that is in him to never feel again, Brecken came in for the kill. Did you know that 2 year olds have a fist that is the same size as your eye socket?

I actually didn't get my eye closed in time, and I saw his fist smack my eyeball...up close! I turtled up like I was getting beat down by muggers and tried to protect my vital internal organs and at that moment Brecken followed up with a kick to my earhole. I think he broke my hammer, anvil and stirrup. (the three little bones in your inner ear)

Needless to say I cried, "No Mas, No Mas!" and ended the beatdown.

Maxim walks away and says to Brecken, "Come on brother, the battle is over." I was crying and laughing at the same time.